Tonight while I was attempting to persuade my one year old to stop shaking the crib, lay down and go to sleep, I was also thinking about the source of my frustration. I’m not talking about why I was frustrated right at the moment, I mean that source was staring straight at me and laughing. I’m talking about a general frustration and maybe not so much the source but the cause. For example, why I am I frustrated that she won’t lay down and go to sleep? Among other reasons, I am frustrated because I want to be done and go into the other room and do my stuff.
Okay, so my example is sort of flawed. I mean who wouldn’t be frustrated or stressed or upset or driven to the point of assuming they must be a terrible mother, in that particular situation.
My point is, our culture has become too focused on I. We all want what we want right now! Most of us have stopped truly being considerate of others. And in the case that some one is thinking of others, they usually become so beaten down doing everything for everyone, they are beyond exhausted.
I will admit there is some value in taking time for oneself. As I mother, I know that to be true. Even if it mean simply locking myself in the bathroom to paint my nails, a few minutes of quiet “me time” is good and usually a much needed break.
My beef is how society has twisted that idea. Now everything is all about pleasing the self. There is something inherently wrong with that because this lack of consideration for other human beings could eventually lead to selfish lack of order.
Recently, in my Fiction Writing class, my story was being critiqued. And one criticism about my main character was when her husband brought her the dishes she accepted the job without question. Now I know in our evolved and liberated culture that is appalling to most. The problem though, is in my story the husband had been at work all day and my main character was at home. She didn’t even make dinner, she had ordered pizza. My professor and classmates couldn’t believe how naïve my character was, and hadn’t she heard of the feminist movement? (and yes there were other parts of the story to suggest she was that sheltered) But the husband was at work all day. Why can’t the wife do the dishes in that situation?
I think the reaction comes from this sense of making one’s self the number one priority ALL the time.
Having said all of that. Here is what I think. I think we should strive to serve and put others first.
Just some thought. What do you think?